Monday, July 12, 2010

12 Days into July...

...and I haven't blogged yet. Sigh. I'm sorry. I really suck lately.

Can I just say that there is NO WAY summer should be almost half over already?? It is not possible! I'm trying to figure out what I've accomplished so far. Some knitting, yeah. (Spinning? Not so much. Alas, TdF has been pretty much a giant fail for me this year.) Hubby and I actually got most of the basement cleaned out in one day last week. That was good. Lots of running around. Still going to the gym. And trying, always trying, to be productive. Not always successful, but hey. 

I'm trying to be more mindful these days of people rather than of plans. See, I planned to get a buttload of house projects done this summer. And I planned to really get out and be active, aside from the gym. And I planned to get my arse organized, for pete's sake. And if I lived in a vacuum, with no other humans around me, I might actually accomplish all of these things. But I don't. There are people in my life, and these people expect me to interact with them. I love these people, and as a rule, I don't mind interacting with them. But sometimes, I get a little tunnel vision thing going, and all I can see are my plans to do, do, do, and when I get like that, those people just seem to be in the way. And that's not fair to them.

So, I'm really trying to focus more on the people I love. My kids, God love 'em, though they are teens, still seem to want to be around me. I'm trying not to take that for granted because I know that could change without warning. My grandson has been here off and on in recent weeks, which is always a special joy. Five year olds are busy people, lemme tell ya! I'm trying to make sure I'm as here in the present with him as I can possibly be, because once he goes home, who knows how long it will be until I'll see him again.

Additionally, I'm trying to be mindful of not ignoring my friends in the midst of this busyness. Phone calls and lunch dates aren't happening as much as they used to, but I'm still trying to stay in touch. We're all busy, though, and it does take a conscious effort. Then I have a good friend who is recovering from surgery, and I'm trying to help her as much as I can, because she's not able to do a whole lot right now. And sadly, just last week, our family lost a friend to suicide. She was a young mom from our church who worked with the youth group...had a wonderful passion especially for the middle school girls, hence my daughter knew her quite well. Both kids were shaken deeply by her death, and I've just been so, so sad for her husband and children. But it's been a stark reminder to me to appreciate my family more, to remember to tell the people in my life whom I love just how important they are to me. Life is precious. I know that sounds cliche, but it's true. Losing someone like Megan in this way, someone who had so much to live for, needs to be redeemed in some way, you know?

All that to say...I'm here, I'm busy, I'm trying to focus on the important things -- people, relationships -- and not just checking off my to-do list this summer. And right now, I'm tired. I seriously need a good night's sleep. So if this post is rambly and doesn't make a lot of sense, I'm sorry. I'll try to do better next time. Until then, go hug someone. ;)