...I am in a bad place, knit-wise, at the moment.
I just finished a sock-from-hell tonight...I restarted this sock a couple of times before I got it going in a way I liked it. The yarn is fantastically beautiful, and that alone made me want to keep at it. So, tonight...made it to the toe of the first sock...which is when things got bad. Sparing you the long, detailed version, it will suffice to say that -- with 1" left to go on the sock -- I realized I screwed up big time about five inches back. I did five too few heel decreases, leaving me with a wonky number of stitches on two needles as I did my toe decreases.
Folks, there is no way to really solve this problem except to rip this puppy the whole way back to where I messed up. I could pretend it doesn't matter, but honestly, the sock won't even fit properly if I don't fit is. The thought of ripping that much sock out, though, sickens me. As much as I wish I was a process knitter (and sometimes I am), for me, socks are all about product. Beautiful, soft, lovely finished products of hand knit sock goodness.
Me and the socks...we are not getting along well right now in general. I have a pair I started for Kevin months ago that are just boring me to tears and I know I will never finish them. They are due to be ripped so I can regain a set of DPNs for better use. I have a partially finished second pirate sock for my son, which I will probably work on next just to get that off my radar, but I'm not loving it as much as I thought I would. I started yet another sock a couple weeks ago with some beautiful Lorna's Shepherd Sock, but the pattern I chose for it really is not working well with the pattern of the yarn -- no matter how much I've tried to convince myself otherwise -- so by rights, it needs to be ripped too so the yarn can be put to better use.
I love to make socks...I really do...but I love them more when they work perfectly and I have a finished sock to show for my efforts in a short amount of time. Perhaps I was spoiled by the fact that my first half-dozen pair of socks I ever made DID turn out perfectly on the first try. That sure hasn't been the case lately, though, and it is depressing me.
Matter of fact, when I think of all of the projects I have started right now -- three scarves and one sweater (not counting a handful of officially "hibernating" projects stashed under my bed!) -- I cannot think of one that really gets me excited. I have two projects that just need a tiny bit of finishing work -- one zipper, one lining and a zipper -- and I have not been able to get the gumption to do those, either. What is wrong with me? This is so not like me.
I'm starting to fear that after a year of intense, nearly obsessive knitting, that I'm getting burned out. I do not want this to happen. I love knitting. I want to continue to love knitting. Maybe I need to do what I used to do when I was feeling burned out with my writing -- take a writing break for a week or so. Maybe I need a knitting break to refresh me. A week with no knitting. At all. I wonder if that's even possible?