Quiet Sunday mornings...

...are, perhaps, even more wonderful than quiet Saturday mornings. They are also more rare. Most Sunday mornings see us getting ready for the 9 a.m. church service we usually attend. Granted, as the kids have gotten older, that has become a less noisy, less harried process, but still...it is not quiet, nor necessarily peaceful, and it usually isn't lost on me how the preparation to get to church often acts counter to putting one's heart in a worshipful state. Usually it's more like, "Man, let's just get there already!"

Don't get me wrong. I like my church a lot. We have an awesome pastor who shares scripturally-sound messages week after week. He is a dynamic and engaging speaker, which, while not a requirement for a pastor, is certainly a plus in my mind. I love, love, love the people there. Granted, it's not a perfect church, but it's our church home and we're pretty happy there.

Still, there are some Sundays when I (or we) don't go. I used to feel guilty about that, but I really don't anymore. I've found that sometimes, having a quiet Sunday morning at home gives me a chance to be quiet within myself, and that's when I am best able to feel close to God. I might read my Bible or listen to music (I don't listen to contemporary Christian music because very little of it appeals to me, but there are some worship songs that I truly enjoy, or simple instrumental music that calms my soul). Often, though, I'll just go outside and observe creation in my little corner of the world, because that never ceases to remind me God's goodness and wonder and great love.

Though I don't talk about my faith here on the blog much (though it certainly fits with the whole "inspired" theme), it is an important part of my life. I can't remember a time when I didn't believe in God, even when I was very young. I can look back over the past 25 - 30 years and see a distinct path my faith life has taken over time, complete with ups and downs. I cannot imagine having gotten through a lot of things had I not had my faith to rely on. 

Sometimes, in the thick of things, the only thing I can muster by way of faith is remembering that God said, "I AM." (Exodus 3:14, if you want the reference!) To me, that means that God is God. He is never changing. He is always present in my life and in the world. He loves me and he loves those I love more than I could ever love them. I may not understand why some things happen, nor what will happen in the future, but knowing that God is God is enough for me. I trust him, fully and completely.

In recent years, I've found myself on what I think of as spiritual auto-pilot a lot. Not exactly lazy, but not as active as I used to be. (By "active" I don't mean active in my church, I mean active personally in my own faith life...not sure how else to describe it.) My faith is there, and it is stronger than it's ever been, but it is different than when I was younger. Recently I enjoyed a conversation about spiritual issues with a young couple I'm getting to know. One of the things that struck me during our talk was what I've categorized as their youthful exuberance about their faith. It was refreshing and made me smile, remembering that same thing in myself at one time. 

Faith, like anything else though, is a journey, and we don't stay in the same place forever. In my 40s, I don't expect to experience or express my faith in the same ways as I did in my 20s, and that's ok. But being in the presence of a 20-something who is alive with joy from God can be a welcome reminder to turn off the auto-pilot more often and reconnect more actively with the faith that is such an important part of who I am.

Inward...

I need a break. I don't know if the crazy month+ of hardly being home has finally taken its toll, or if it's been some family drama I've been dealing with, or maybe it's the end-of-school-year anticipation with its associated work...or all of the above?...but I can feel myself shutting down, going inward. Not in a huge, chronic, pathological way. Just in the way that I'm prone to when my body and mind are in desperate need of a time-out to recharge. Right now? I'm there. Oh yeah. 

Whether it is symptom or cure or maybe a bit of both, my turning inward often starts in the kitchen. I crave comfort food. Like cheese bread (bread + sliced cheddar cheese + salt & pepper...into toaster oven until cheese is melty...mmmm), or grits for breakfast. Or macaroni & cheese with tuna and cream of mushroom soup mixed in. Ok, I know it maybe sounds gross, but it actually used to be a recipe on the side of the box, and my dad used to make it for dinner sometimes, and I loved it...warm, squishy goodness. (Come to think of it, my dad used to make me cheese bread and grits, too...must ponder the significance of my favorite comfort foods being dad-oriented! Interesting!) 

Anyway, I rarely eat boxed mac & cheese, but this particular recipe just isn't the same with homemade mac & cheese. No one else in my family likes this version, so on Friday? I made it just for me. And it was good. So good. Mmmmm.

I'm continuing the theme of comfort today. I decided last night that I was skipping church today. That is probably a counterintuitive measure when craving comfort, and I know had I gone, it would have been good. But some Sundays? I just need to be home. I just need the comfort of my house and my family around me, without the need to rush and shower and dress and get out the door. My thought is that God is here as well as at church, and I've always been taught that God meets us where we are (I take that both literally and figuratively). So, here I am, at home, seeking comfort and just being here and still without great expectations on me. And this is good, too.

Since we were staying home, I promised the family that I'd make my special pancakes for them. Breakfasts together as a family are so rare for us, that when it happens, it has it's own comforting effect. Anyway, the pancakes...I've mentioned them before, and they remain noteworthy because they are both healthy and everyone in the house loves them. When I find a recipe like that,* it's a keeper, you know? LOL And weird as it is, I love that this recipe starts out with the toasting of nuts and seeds for a topping (I use sunflower seeds, sesame seeds and slivered almonds). Something about the smell of these things as they heat up in the skillet is just, well, comforting.

So now here I am...it isn't even noon. I was up before nine today, a good hour and a half earlier than most days (it is so odd to me that I'm often up earlier on weekend days than I am during the week...doesn't that seem backwards?), so it feels like it should be much later. But it's nice that it's not. I'm dressed in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, a favorite hoodie and a pair of hand-knit socks for warmth (it's sunny but chilly today!). I'm enjoying my second (or is it my third?) cup of coffee. I have no plans for the day, which is glorious. I'm sure there will be knitting involved, though. Or spinning. ;)

Speaking of knitting...here are some photos of what I've been working on. Made my April charity hat this week (was a little behind!), modeled reluctantly by the boy...

...doesn't he look enthused? LOL But hey...he's 14...he's supposed to look like that, right?

I'm half done with the first of two afghan squares I need to make for myself for the afghan swap afghan...

...being addicted to mitred squares as I am at the moment, it was a no-brainer that I'd make one for myself. 

And of course, there is Caricia...

I am still utterly smitten with both the pattern and the yarn. I'm on my second ball of the handspun now. I love how there is that swath of a deeper golden yellow going through it...that was the start of the new ball, which then faded back to an even lighter yellow than the first section. These color changes make me so happy. I'm through five repeats of the main pattern now. And while it is taking longer to get through each repeat, it is still moving along pretty well. I've only had a couple of small setbacks at this point, and I'm hoping that will be a continuing trend.

As you can see by my progress bars, I've only got six projects in the works right now (amazing!), and two of them are afghans. The Ribbon Lace Scarf and the Cosima sweater are reaching the point of being considered "languishing" projects, but I'm not ready to relegate either to hibernation status just yet. I still need to make the second bamboo sock, but I'm not in a sock mood right now, plus I really want to make that same pattern in a solid colored yarn, which I may do before finishing that particular pair. I am trying to stay focused on the swap afghan and Caricia for right now, because I really want to see both of them finished. Thus, I'm resisting the urge to cast on anything else at the moment. We'll see how that goes.

And with that, I think I'm going to go knit a little. Hope you are having a relaxing, comforting weekend of your own!

*Just a note on the recipe, in case you check it out. I follow the basic pancake recipe as written, but without the apples. Also, I don't use buttermilk, just usually skim or 2%, whatever I have on hand. And I usually add in 1/4 c. of wheat germ to the batter. Total yumminess all around!

What it all comes down to...

Being an evangelical Christian isn't all that popular in today's world climate. I think it gets a bad rap because of those extreme personalities in the media who make the world think we're all a bunch of uber-conservative whackjobs. But I am a Christian, and I do consider myself of an evangelical bent. While it isn't something I try to hide, it isn't something I talk about all the time, either, which probably makes the "evangelical" part a bit ironic. I don't think I'm perfect, and I don't think I live my life better than the rest of the world, nor do I presume that I know what Jesus would do/say/think in every social, political or relational situation. But the bottom line is my faith is important to me, and I'd gladly talk about it to anyone interested in knowing more about it.

That said, here is a Youtube video that states it beautifully. I just saw it recently and can't help but watch it again and again. So...at this time of Thanksgiving, I offer it to you...watch it if you want...or not. Either way, Happy Thanksgiving!