Sunday, October 14, 2007

So far, so good...

Weather for Sunday: 64 degrees, mostly sunny. Couldn't ask for anything better. Woohoo!

Preparation level: what's done is done, what's not done may not get done, and it just doesn't matter. It'll be fine.

State of mind: Good. I'm excited for the party tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to seeing my son's friends, some of whom I've not seen in several years. I think it's going to be a really good time. I feel like this is the graduation party I never got to throw for him back in high school, and I'm glad for the opportunity to finally do it.

Today was Family Day for the new recruits that will be heading to boot camp soon. I went with my daughter-in-law and grandson to see what it was all about. It was mainly a time to get information about what's going to happen to them during the 13 weeks they'll be at Parris Island. It sounded incredible...impossible...amazing. I cannot even imagine enduring the grueling physical challenges they're put through, but I think my son will do well at it. He's got it in him to do this, I know that.

It was the other aspects that they kept talking about though...the changes on the inside that most captured my attention. More than once, they talked about how the kid getting on the bus is not the same kid you'll see when you go down for boot camp graduation. I so want that to be true. My kid is a good kid...I love him as he is...but I know he can be so much more. I am so praying that this is finally going to be the opportunity that will help him break out of this cycle he's been in of not moving forward. He tries but something always holds him back. Hopefully this will be the thing that will help him break free of that and finally find some success and help him build his confidence and take him places in life. For him and his little family, I pray so hard that this will be the case.

In the mean time, it's finally dawning on me that once he leaves for boot camp, it's not just for 13 weeks, but really, he's gone. It's going to be a whole new experience of letting go for me. Even though he hasn't lived here for three years and he's been married for over a year, there's still been a certain level of dependence on us due to various life circumstances. Between that and the fact that he and I have always had a pretty good relationship -- he's always talked to me, even when things were pretty crappy with him -- this is really going to be a change. I find myself thinking about this and suddenly tearing up. I know it is a good change, a right change, for him to move on and away, but I'm going to miss our closeness. I'm trusting God to take care of that, though. I know he will.

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